Recently I left a job that I had just started last June. To say that the experience was not what I expected is an understatement, and needless to say, it was not the long term experience that I had hoped for. I have been home for a month now and I'm sorting through my process of understanding accepting the loss of my job and ultimately moving on to a new opportunity.
My decision to take the role was based on my expectation to excel my career by participating and having influence in the strategic planning and growth of a company perched on the brink of take off (it was an aerospace company, so pardon the pun). It was also a nice chunk of money to start with the potential, I thought, of a lot more. The role had the added component of human resources development and coaching, which was the clincher for me. The decision to take the job felt right.
I took a leap of faith and left a job that I had been painfully bored with for a long time. The role was going nowhere, and it was not challenging me in any way. my skills were getting dull and I was losing my edge. It was easy to become complacent in a job that paid well and expected very little from me; however I felt like I was selling myself short. The process of making the decision to move on initially took a long time for a variety of reasons, but mostly I had lost confidence in my ability. In the end, I made the decision because I need to be authentic with as a Career Coach. I need to live the experiences myself, otherwise I'm only lecturing.
In key leadership and financial position, it doesn't take long to get the true picture of a company, and this one was pretty dismal. I had done a certain degree of due diligence before joining the company, but the information wasn't accurate. A sinking feeling was growing in my gut, however I tried to look at the positive challenges that I was having. There were actually many enjoyable aspects to the role which I really did love. The position gave me the opportunity to rebuild confidence in my skill and knowledge. I completely enjoyed the employees there and my interaction with them. This in itself was satisfying to me. I was able to get involved with other aspects of a CFO role that I otherwise would not have had the opportunity to experience.
There does come a point where the learning is gained from an experience and the purpose is fulfilled and some times are shorter than others. I've become better at paying attention to when the time comes to let go of those things. There is though, still a process that I need to go through. I believe that everything happens to provide a learning experience, that there is no such thing as a wrong decision and that we are each in control of our choices. Even believing that, I still had to go through many emotions, including anger; feeling I had been duped and just a little embarrassed about that. I was suppressing my emotions rather that accepting them because I believe that I should have known better! Not admitting that I was really feeling pissed off, was keeping me stuck there. I do know that of course I was not taken in, that I made the choice and it provided me with greater confidence and a new opportunity to find something even better.
I'm enjoying the process now and I'll keep you posted! All positive energy gratefully accepted and acknowledged :)
Warm regards,
Karen Whitman
Comments